I guess I should have started my posting with a little introduction (I am fairly new at blogging!)
My name is Scott Brown, and I currently a Student at Indiana University in Bloomington, Indiana, and I created this blog as sort of an online journal. I know sometimes my grammar may be a little funky, and some things may not make sense to everyone, but each and every post is based on my own life experiences and thoughts on things, and my prayer is simply that someone may be able to benefit from my past experiences and forge a closer relationship with God as a result. My relationship with God is in no way perfect, and I don't want anyone to assume that I have it all figured out, because I most certainly do not. However, if just one person benefits from my experiences and is able to avoid all of the crap that I went through, then it will have all been worth it!
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Awesome Nugget of Wisdom
I feel like this is going to be a pretty important tool in my Christian toolbox for the next few years...
"Everything is permissible for me" - but not everything is beneficial.
"Everything is permissible for me" - but I will not be mastered by anything.
-1 Corinthians 6:12
"Everything is permissible for me" - but not everything is beneficial.
"Everything is permissible for me" - but I will not be mastered by anything.
-1 Corinthians 6:12
My Declaration of Independence
Today I decided to sign my own version of the Declaration of Independence... My Declaration of Independence from sin, and basically all of the things that I don't want to have in my life. I know it sounds a little tacky, but I am so done with living such a worldly fake life, and honestly, I miss my relationship with God more than anything else.
For a long time I was blaming God for all of the problems in my life, while blatantly ignoring the path that He was laying out for me each and every day; and now that I have finally rediscovered my first love, it makes me so ticked off at 'old Scott' for all of the wasted time and blessings that I missed out on from being incorrigible... And even through all of the crap that was going on in my life (as a result of my OWN doing...), God was always there... ALWAYS... and you know, I honestly cannot think of a single instance where I was truly alone, because no matter how "alone" I felt, I always knew in the back of my mind that God was there for me, and He was just waiting for me to run myself out of breath and fall back into His arms again, and it used to make me SO mad that he would never leave me alone through everything!
It seemed that at times I just didn't feel like I deserved God's love, and having to live with the knowledge that what I was doing was breaking His heart even though it was what I wanted to do just killed me on the inside (Even though I never showed it...). It seems that a lot of the time in our lives when we say we are mad at God for all the bad things that He allows to happen in the world, we are truly mad at the fact that no matter what we or others do that is wrong, God will always be there ready to forgive, and the fact that I was never able to be alone was more irritating to me during my rebellious years than ANYTHING else... I was such a child about it all, and I'm so sorry God...
Nevertheless, I am back and I'm ready to trust God again with everything again, because I can't do anything truly on my own, and I am so done trying because I am so tired... I guess my prayer tonight is as follows:
"Lord God, I am so sorry. I'm sorry for everything that I said and did that was against everything that you stand for, and I am sorry if I ever did or said anything during my rebellious time that was detrimental to the faith of someone else, and I pray that if that was the case, that you soften their hearts once more, Lord God, and give them the opportunity to find peace in your Love. I left you so that I could chase after things that didn't matter, and I made decisions in my life that I will have to live with for the rest of my life, but I know that as a result of these bad choices, I will know better next time, and through your Love I will be able to overcome the tough situations that I am now in as a result... I know its not going to be an easy transition, and I know I may lose friends and people I love over choosing to put you first in my life and endowing you with the steering wheel of my life, but I know that in the end, the result is going to be so worth it someday just to be able to rest in your arms, and it's so nice to have the insurance of God in my life, instead of the false assurance of man. Thank you, Lord God, for every opportunity and blessing that is present in my life, and I pray that you open the hearts of others to hear your voice as you have done mine... In your name I pray, Amen."
For a long time I was blaming God for all of the problems in my life, while blatantly ignoring the path that He was laying out for me each and every day; and now that I have finally rediscovered my first love, it makes me so ticked off at 'old Scott' for all of the wasted time and blessings that I missed out on from being incorrigible... And even through all of the crap that was going on in my life (as a result of my OWN doing...), God was always there... ALWAYS... and you know, I honestly cannot think of a single instance where I was truly alone, because no matter how "alone" I felt, I always knew in the back of my mind that God was there for me, and He was just waiting for me to run myself out of breath and fall back into His arms again, and it used to make me SO mad that he would never leave me alone through everything!
It seemed that at times I just didn't feel like I deserved God's love, and having to live with the knowledge that what I was doing was breaking His heart even though it was what I wanted to do just killed me on the inside (Even though I never showed it...). It seems that a lot of the time in our lives when we say we are mad at God for all the bad things that He allows to happen in the world, we are truly mad at the fact that no matter what we or others do that is wrong, God will always be there ready to forgive, and the fact that I was never able to be alone was more irritating to me during my rebellious years than ANYTHING else... I was such a child about it all, and I'm so sorry God...
Nevertheless, I am back and I'm ready to trust God again with everything again, because I can't do anything truly on my own, and I am so done trying because I am so tired... I guess my prayer tonight is as follows:
"Lord God, I am so sorry. I'm sorry for everything that I said and did that was against everything that you stand for, and I am sorry if I ever did or said anything during my rebellious time that was detrimental to the faith of someone else, and I pray that if that was the case, that you soften their hearts once more, Lord God, and give them the opportunity to find peace in your Love. I left you so that I could chase after things that didn't matter, and I made decisions in my life that I will have to live with for the rest of my life, but I know that as a result of these bad choices, I will know better next time, and through your Love I will be able to overcome the tough situations that I am now in as a result... I know its not going to be an easy transition, and I know I may lose friends and people I love over choosing to put you first in my life and endowing you with the steering wheel of my life, but I know that in the end, the result is going to be so worth it someday just to be able to rest in your arms, and it's so nice to have the insurance of God in my life, instead of the false assurance of man. Thank you, Lord God, for every opportunity and blessing that is present in my life, and I pray that you open the hearts of others to hear your voice as you have done mine... In your name I pray, Amen."
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